Turn It Off
by Dear. Dark. Destiny
Summary: When the night whispers to you, it is frightening. Everything you believe can shatter and your heart can explode... SS/LE HPFC forum challenge. T for darkness


**A/N**

**Hey you guys, good to see you all here again! :P This story is for the Song and Pairing Challenge by lunarocks14 on the HPFC forum. Go check it out, it's great! **** My song was Turn it Off by Paramore and my people were SeverusXLily**

**I in no way own Paramore, Turn it off, or Harry Potter.**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

**Hope you like it!**

_**I scraped my knees while I was praying**_

_**And found a demon in my safest haven…**_

When the night whispers to you, it is frightening. Everything you believe can shatter and your heart can explode. You feel like you are going absolutely insane, but really, you just need someone to pinch you as hard as they can or hold you until you have no fear left. But when the night whispers to you, you are all alone, and you do not _have_ these leisures or safety blankets that you so desire to wrap around your shoulders to feel safe again. _I am all alone_.

Rain is the one thing I remember clearly. Rain, rain and more rain, falling to the ground, nourishing all things living, pelting tin roofs and concrete sidewalks, making me feel dreary and outcasted while it made other things flourish.

Lovely Lily. The rain made _her_ flourish. She thrived on rain; dancing in it, feeling the cool wetness wash over her, and even allowing me sweet kisses as it choreographed a gentle melody all those years back. Oh how I wish I had memorized it.

We were running. I do not remember why, and I do not remember where, but we were running, and she was afraid.

"_Severus, it's raining." She whispered, her tone steady—despite her fear—with a hint of danger twinkling in her eyes. _

_I nodded, not understanding her sudden change in emotion._

"_Dance with me." _

_She grabbed hold of my hands and placed one on her waist, and the other, she made to rest in the small of her hand. I tried to refuse, but it was as if she could not listen. We spun 'round and 'round for ages it seemed, and I could not keep my eyes off of her. She was absolutely stunning. Every twirl made her hair fan out and ever splash of water on her face seemed to brighten up the skies. Those beautiful emeralds that pierced my every thought or desire held my gaze and captivated me. _

"_I love the rain." She whispered once more after we had finished dancing, and I was holding onto her, wishing that we could stay like this forever._

_I took a leap of faith and kissed her forehead. _

_My mind had wanted me to say 'and I love you', but I could not bring myself to say it. "I know." I replied instead._

"_Kiss me, Sev. Kiss me for real." _

_**And the worst part is **_

_**Before it gets any better**_

_**We're headed for a cliff**_

Lily had asked _me_ to kiss _her_. And I did, but it was never to happen again, which inevitably was my fault_. I_ made the mistakes. _I_ forgot every good thing we had and threw them all away. _I_ broke her heart way before she broke mine. _I_ was the bad guy.

_**I wanna know what it'd be like **_

_**To find perfection in my pride**_

_**To see nothing in the light**_

_**Or turn it off in all my spite…**_

When I was a child, my parents would argue so loudly I would sometimes crawl in the back of my closet and read books. I loved fairytales and fantasy because it reminded me of perfection and everything I wished my life could be like. In the mornings when my mother would wake me up, she would find me dead asleep in a cramped space with a book for my pillow. She would turn her anger on me and tell me that it was no use sleeping in here and reading silly stories that could never come true, but I read them anyway. After I met Lily, I told her all of this, and I forgot my need to read anything anymore. She was my fairytale; my _fantasy_. But through my anger and my hate, I forgot everything. I deserved love, and I forgot that I could receive it from my dear Lily, so I fell from everything good and hit the floor.

_**And in the free fall I will realize**_

_**I'm better off when I hit the bottom**_

And hit the bottom I did. I broke every bone, but I did not die—though I'm sure it would have been better if I had. No, I did not die. Instead, I had an epiphany. Now, I hear the night and its whisperings and I ponder the life I could have had with my love, my life. Now, I live alone, longing forgiveness and peace of mind. But I believe that as long as I live, I can never revive myself from my fall.

_**It's wrong the way we're working**_

_**Towards a goal that's nonexistent**_

_**It's nonexistent, but we just keep believing…**_

**Heyo! Hope you liked it! **** I enjoyed writing it! :D I don't think it's my personal best (Actually I think my story Honey and Maple Syrup is my best, so if you wanna check that out, just go look on my page!) but I could be wrong. **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Happy writings**

**Caroline**


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